My partner’s ear was taken over by an alien life form today. Or at least I think that was what happened. He responded so inappropriately to some very basic conversational comments that only something struggling with Earth’s native language could have explained it. I will state for the record that my partner is a natural born earthling … well, I think so – though that sort of information is not recorded on birth certificates or passports so I can only presume this to be the case.
Alternatively, it may have been that he was preoccupied with the imaginary golf club that he was swinging around with the wii. Of the two, I know which I think is most likely and it’s not the golf club.
I looked inside his ears (noting that an eary wigger hair trimmer might make for a practical present come Christmas – or sooner – depending on the growth rate and hair density in between time) and am quite certain I saw evidence of an alien landing party with requisite space craft. I rest my case.
Despite this sinister downturn to our relationship, I feel that good is just around the corner. The feeling that good fortune is blessing me and will materialise like Kirk, Spock and Bones in a transporter beam, but hopefully, not in my partner’s ear. I have no tangible signs presaging this, just a feeling in my bones but am looking out for rainbow dust and when I find it, know that my pot of gold will be very close!